Tuesday, November 25, 2008
Senile? Already?
I have a horrible track record for remembering things. I can forget anything. Frequently I forget how old I am. Right now I am 6 days from turning 36. Not long ago when somebody asked me how old I am, I said 27. Really.When I
But now I think I finally have definitive proof that I am suffering from Early Onset Alzheimer's Disease. I forgot the password to my Gmail account. I have had this account for years. I use it daily. And I can't remember the freakin' password!
Ok, I have to end this post now. I have to go wander around the parking lot until I find my car.
Posted by Ken at 11:55 AM 4comments
Saturday, November 22, 2008
The Repetitive Parent
My top 6 parenting questions
Not that any of my kids would even know what this means, but most days I feel like a broken record. I say the same things over and over and over.... and over. I hate the sound of my own voice.
Are you all familiar with The Parents' Curse? If you're not let me clue you in. It's something a parent will say to their child when the child is being particularly difficult. It goes something like this; "I hope you grow up and have 5 kids just like you!" My parents invoked The Parents' Curse at least three or four times a day.
It worked.
And more.
Don't get me wrong, I love each and every one of my kids. They're all wonderful in their own right. But they can all also be miserable in their own right.
Whether it's picking on their younger sibling, not wanting to do homework, running around like a maniac, resisting housework at all costs, mouthing off, not listening, dumping everything that is on or in a table onto the floor -- or any of the multitude of sins I know I was guilty of as a child, they can truly drive me nuts. There are times when a week or two in a padded cell doesn't seem like such a bad idea.
But do you want to know what's really scary? They haven't even come close to the really bad stuff I did. That doesn't come until 15 or 16 years old. And our oldest is almost there. *shiver*
- Is that where your ____ belongs?
- Why did you do that?
- Why is this still on if nobody's using it?
- Do we live in a gymnasium? (Usually followed by item 2)
- Why must I constantly repeat myself?!?!?!
- Why must I constantly repeat myself?!?!?!
Not that any of my kids would even know what this means, but most days I feel like a broken record. I say the same things over and over and over.... and over. I hate the sound of my own voice.Are you all familiar with The Parents' Curse? If you're not let me clue you in. It's something a parent will say to their child when the child is being particularly difficult. It goes something like this; "I hope you grow up and have 5 kids just like you!" My parents invoked The Parents' Curse at least three or four times a day.
It worked.
And more.
Don't get me wrong, I love each and every one of my kids. They're all wonderful in their own right. But they can all also be miserable in their own right.
Whether it's picking on their younger sibling, not wanting to do homework, running around like a maniac, resisting housework at all costs, mouthing off, not listening, dumping everything that is on or in a table onto the floor -- or any of the multitude of sins I know I was guilty of as a child, they can truly drive me nuts. There are times when a week or two in a padded cell doesn't seem like such a bad idea.
But do you want to know what's really scary? They haven't even come close to the really bad stuff I did. That doesn't come until 15 or 16 years old. And our oldest is almost there. *shiver*
Posted by Ken at 9:29 AM 5comments
Sunday, November 16, 2008
Slim Christmas
This Christmas is going to be rough. Like a lot of people, we are having some pretty serious financial difficulties. To the point that I've really been concerned on more than one occasion.
The thing is though, I am a Christian. (Yes, liberal and Christian are not mutually exclusive...) And I truly believe that "Jesus is the reason for the season." I'm not going to get preachy, so you can keep reading. But we have gotten away from what we really need to think about when it comes to Christmas. Even if you're not Christian, but still celebrate the holiday in it's secular sense, you need to think about it's meaning. Love each other, give to those less fortunate than yourself, spend time with your kids. Maybe take some time to show them something. Think about the volunteering thing.
So, anyway, in my cruising of blogs, I came across Sound of a Soft Breath which showed me this thing called Advent Conspiracy. I really think it was shown to me because of all the stress and worry I've been experiencing. The whole point is just to spend less on gifts, focus more on worship and family and charity. They have a focus on providing clean water to the poor. The one statistic that really got to me was that we spend $450 Billion on Christmas and it would take $10 Billion to provide clean water to everyone in the world that doesn't have it right now. That blew my mind.
Watch these two videos and see if you aren't moved. I was.
Now, I don't know if this year I'm going to actually be able to contribute money to this very worthwhile cause. But I'm getting close to being back on my feet, and I think next year I'm going to have something to give. In the meantime, I'm using this very small platform to spread their word.
Go to Advent Conspiracy and learn more. The cause is great and the message is inspiring.
I know this is pretty early, but Merry Christmas and may God Bless you and your families.
The thing is though, I am a Christian. (Yes, liberal and Christian are not mutually exclusive...) And I truly believe that "Jesus is the reason for the season." I'm not going to get preachy, so you can keep reading. But we have gotten away from what we really need to think about when it comes to Christmas. Even if you're not Christian, but still celebrate the holiday in it's secular sense, you need to think about it's meaning. Love each other, give to those less fortunate than yourself, spend time with your kids. Maybe take some time to show them something. Think about the volunteering thing.
So, anyway, in my cruising of blogs, I came across Sound of a Soft Breath which showed me this thing called Advent Conspiracy. I really think it was shown to me because of all the stress and worry I've been experiencing. The whole point is just to spend less on gifts, focus more on worship and family and charity. They have a focus on providing clean water to the poor. The one statistic that really got to me was that we spend $450 Billion on Christmas and it would take $10 Billion to provide clean water to everyone in the world that doesn't have it right now. That blew my mind.
Watch these two videos and see if you aren't moved. I was.
Now, I don't know if this year I'm going to actually be able to contribute money to this very worthwhile cause. But I'm getting close to being back on my feet, and I think next year I'm going to have something to give. In the meantime, I'm using this very small platform to spread their word.
Go to Advent Conspiracy and learn more. The cause is great and the message is inspiring.
I know this is pretty early, but Merry Christmas and may God Bless you and your families.
Posted by Ken at 5:13 PM 2comments
Thursday, November 13, 2008
A Milestone
His first steps. And I missed them. I'm home every night after work. I never stop off at the bar or go hang out with friends. I run all my errands during the day so I can get home as quick as I can. But the second and fourth Thursday of every month, I have a meeting. It usually goes to about 9 PM. Most months one of those meetings is canceled for one reason or anther. So it really works out to maybe 1.25 nights a month. Max.And this little booger decided to take his first steps on that night. Less than two hours before I got home. I honestly almost cried. (Yes Dear, I know I cry at Hallmark commercials, but this was for real.)
There are so many milestones and I know I'll be there for most of them. But when you miss one, it hurts. And there's the guilt. If I had been at work when he did it, it wouldn't hurt so much because I would have been somewhere I absolutely had to be. You gotta earn a living for your family.
But I was at a Lodge Meeting. I coulda skipped it. I know, I know. How am I supposed to know he was going to walk tonight? Can I really put everything on hold to minimize the chance I'll miss a milestone? No. But being a parent means taking on oneself an unreasonable expectation of perfection. Failing to meet that expectation brings on guilt. Find me a parent without at least a little guilt and I'll show you a parent that just doesn't give a damn.
So, I missed his first step. And his second. And his third. But maybe I'll be there for his fourth. And if not, I'll be there for many of his other milestones. His first day of school. His first... whatever. And he'll know how proud I am of him. Whether I'm right there when it happens, or I have to hear him retell it to me over and over. He's my li'l booger and I am so proud of him.
Posted by Ken at 10:46 PM 4comments
Wednesday, November 12, 2008
Let's Talk About Change
I could not have been happier when Senator Obama became President Elect Obama. His election brought me to tears and stirred a sense of pride in our great people that I have not felt in a long time. But now I am concerned.
I am not concerned that President Elect Obama won't do the things he said he will do. I have confidence that he will work hard and surround himself with people of excellence in order to reach the goals he has set for our nation. My concern is about us.
I am concerned that we have forgotten what it means to work and sacrifice to make things happen. I am afraid we have such faith and hope in Barack Obama that we think we can just sit back and let him take care of things. Let me tell you, that was not my intention when I pulled the lever next to his name.
During the Civil Rights Movement people did not sit back and let Martin Luther King handle it. They took to the streets and protested. They walked instead of riding the bus. They endured fire hoses and police dogs and beatings. They understood that they needed to make sacrifices in order to achieve change. King said
Let us not forget that despite the overwhelming victory we experienced, three states voted to officially institute discrimination by actively outlawing same sex marriage. Is that the change we're looking for? Not me.
Let's also not forget about the hungry, the homeless, the sick and dying, the mentally ill, the still disenfranchised minorities. All of those people that are treated as less than whole human beings. We must work for change for them.
If your mortgage is restructured so you don't get foreclosed on, don't forget about the millions who never had a house to call their own. If you find you are suddenly able to afford medication you never could before, remember those that never got a diagnosis because they couldn't see a doctor. Enjoy your freedom, but remember those that have lost theirs without trial because they fit a profile.
There are lots of changes to be made and not even a fraction of them will be done in the next four years. Don't lose your hope because it's not happening fast enough. Keep working and remember we have started down a long road. But it is a better road as long as we keep working on it.
I am not concerned that President Elect Obama won't do the things he said he will do. I have confidence that he will work hard and surround himself with people of excellence in order to reach the goals he has set for our nation. My concern is about us.
I am concerned that we have forgotten what it means to work and sacrifice to make things happen. I am afraid we have such faith and hope in Barack Obama that we think we can just sit back and let him take care of things. Let me tell you, that was not my intention when I pulled the lever next to his name.
During the Civil Rights Movement people did not sit back and let Martin Luther King handle it. They took to the streets and protested. They walked instead of riding the bus. They endured fire hoses and police dogs and beatings. They understood that they needed to make sacrifices in order to achieve change. King said
We cannot just sit back now and think everything is going to be fine and wonder in four years why we haven't seen the change we expected. We need to get up and work for it. President Elect Obama said it himself in his victory speech on Nov. 4th;"Change does not roll in on the wheels of inevitability, but comes through continuous struggle. And so we must straighten our backs and work for our freedom.
This victory alone is not the change we seek. It is only the chance for us to make that change. And that cannot happen if we go back to the way things were.He is our leader, but he is not our savior. He will call us to service in the name of change. We need to be ready to answer that call. But we also need to get up and create our own calls. Volunteer. Become a community organizer. Make phone calls and campaign for initiatives that are important. Keep working for change you believe our country needs. Don't leave it to others.
It can't happen without you, without a new spirit of service, a new spirit of sacrifice.
So let us summon a new spirit of patriotism, of responsibility, where each of us resolves to pitch in and work harder and look after not only ourselves but each other.
Let us not forget that despite the overwhelming victory we experienced, three states voted to officially institute discrimination by actively outlawing same sex marriage. Is that the change we're looking for? Not me.
Let's also not forget about the hungry, the homeless, the sick and dying, the mentally ill, the still disenfranchised minorities. All of those people that are treated as less than whole human beings. We must work for change for them.
If your mortgage is restructured so you don't get foreclosed on, don't forget about the millions who never had a house to call their own. If you find you are suddenly able to afford medication you never could before, remember those that never got a diagnosis because they couldn't see a doctor. Enjoy your freedom, but remember those that have lost theirs without trial because they fit a profile.
There are lots of changes to be made and not even a fraction of them will be done in the next four years. Don't lose your hope because it's not happening fast enough. Keep working and remember we have started down a long road. But it is a better road as long as we keep working on it.
Posted by Ken at 10:31 AM 1comments
Sunday, November 09, 2008
The Conflict
What do you do when you have to make one of your kids do something you don't really want to make them do? Like, when a gym teacher requires a Gym Journal in which he needs to write 5 paragraphs for each class, but the journal entries for each class can be exact copies of each other. An assignment that I totally agree is pointless or near pointless and teaches almost nothing.I remember having to do stupid, senseless homework. It sucked. Royally. I'm also aware that I have had a multitude of jobs where I have been made to do stupid, senseless things that I absolutely did not want to do. And if I didn't do them, it would be insubordination and termination. We have to learn in life there are things we have to do that we don't want to.
So, there are two conflicts. The one between me and the child in question and the conflict within myself. The first one I can deal with. As a father, there will be many times with all my children that I will be in conflict with them. It's the internal conflict that's bugging me. I don't want to ride him. He's a good kid. He helps with the younger kids all the time. He is compassionate and caring. Always willing to help out around the house. He is kind. He is very smart. I am constantly proud of him. I don't want to make him do these stupid journals. I don't want to be the bad guy over something I don't even really support. But, I'm being the bad guy. And it sucks.
I hope that when he gets older he'll realize that I am somebody who is doing this out of love and a desire to help him deal with the injustices of life when he gets older rather than just a crotchety old man who likes making kids miserable.
And besides all that, I really hate hearing my father's voice coming out of my mouth. That is the worst.
(That's my dad in the pic holding Patrick, his youngest grand child. I love him. I just don't want to be him.)
Posted by Ken at 8:54 PM 0comments
What Being "Dad" Means to Me
So, in the ongoing effort to reacquaint myself with all of you, I thought I'd talk about what being a dad means to me. This will include all my "dad hats," including that of step-dad.Being a dad means everything to me. It is one of two main reasons I get up in the morning. (My beautiful partner in life, Emmy is the other.) It means lots of hard work. Crazy weekends with sleepovers, cousins, bickering, laughing and all around insanity. It means on the rare quiet weekends sitting there going "what's that noise?" and realizing it's the silence and wishing the ruckus would return.
Being a dad means trying to teach responsibility and life skills while trying real hard not to force them into becoming little versions of me. Nagging about homework that "doesn't have a point" and explaining that life is not always fair. Being a dad means having a vast repertoire of cliches.
Being a dad means trying to teach critical thinking while trying really, really hard to not indoctrinate them into your personal political and life philosophy. (But hoping desperately they'll come to it all on their own.)
Heartbreak, disappointment, discouragement, tears and sorrow are all part of being a dad. But so are Joy, Exultation, Laughter, Pride, Hope and Happiness.
Overstimulation. Mine, not theirs. Being a dad means not knowing which end is up most of the time. It means not knowing which "Dad!", "Daaaaaaadddddddyyyyyyy!!!!!" or "Hey, Ken!" to answer first. Hot meals? What are those?
I hate having to say no when I really want to say yes. I also hate having to say yes when I want to say no (but not as much as the first one.)
Being broke goes without saying, right?
Being a dad means being one of the luckiest people I know but not having enough time to appreciate it. That's why I decided to go back to blogging. It forces me to reflect and express the joy I feel by being a dad. Stay with me. Check back and learn about me and my family.
Posted by Ken at 11:15 AM 0comments
Saturday, November 08, 2008
Meet The Eccentrics
Hi! I'm The Eccentric Father and this is my family, the Eccentrics. You can call me Ken. I'm the big hairy one with glasses. On my left is the most beautiful woman I've ever had the honor of knowing, Emmy. To her left is Gregory, 14, the oldest of our 5 combined children. Right in front of me with the red curls is Julia, 7, the only girl. Right in front is Jack, 5, the attack. Wearing the green Jets sweatshirt is Jeremy, the caretaker of the group. And right in the middle is Patrick Casey. The youngest and the ours portion of the Hers, Mine and Ours family that is the Eccentrics.I thought that since you were reading, you might want to know who you were reading about. As we go along, you'll hear all kinds of things. I'll talk about what it's like to be a dad, step-dad, divorced dad, dad to a toddler, dad to a daughter, dad to sons, dad to teenagers, dad to grade schoolers and any other dad hat I may not have mentioned that I am currently wearing, have worn or may wear in the future. I'll also talk about what my life with Emmy, as a Freemason, as somebody with Obsessive Compulsive Disorder, as a technical support and training specialist for a small software company, a semi-pro photographer, son, brother, uncle and any of the multitude of other roles I may find myself in at one time or another in my life.
I'm a Christian, a very liberal Democrat who loves to talk politics, A Red Sox fan, a nerd/geek/dork, a life long student, a pet lover, big eater, sci-fi fan and all around goof ball. The Eccentrics include a straight A student who loves politics, a smart alec redheaded girly girl, an extremely empathetic young man who helps greatly with his younger sibs, a very energetic and loving kindergartner and a tow headed 1 year old in the process of becoming an energetic-empathic-smart alec-political li'l booger. And last, but not least, my partner in the eccentricity is a very loving, caring, supportive mother and partner. She is the rock that our family is built upon. I consider myself one of the most fortunate people in the world to have such a large, diverse, loving family. I could not ask for anything else.
It's funny that when I sat down I wasn't sure what I was going to write. Then I started to list the different roles that I fill. I'm not exceptional. I don't belong to a lot of organizations. I don't have many friends. I work and I enjoy my family. Yet I look at all the things I've listed and realize I am many things to many people. It just makes me realize that we all are really connected. No matter how small or insignificant we may think we are. We all mean something to somebody and probably a lot of somethings to a lot of somebodies.
So, I guess the moral here is, don't take yourself forgranted. Think about what it is you do and what it means to those that you love. And think about those that you love and the things that they do that effect you. Life, love, familes, friends, co-workers, all of us form a web. Everything we do effects somebody in our web. Think about it. Live. Love. Share.
Posted by Ken at 7:10 PM 2comments
Wednesday, November 05, 2008
History
President Reagan being shot. The Challenger Explosion. 9/11. Three days etched in my memory. Three days I know exactly where I was, who I was with and what I was doing. Three days that brought me to tears. Now there is a fourth. And this time the tears are tears of joy and hope rather than sadness and despair.We made history last night. We proved that we can overcome our past and create a new future. We proved that in The United States anyone really can achieve anything.
I don't know how the next four years will turn out. I have great hopes for them. I hope that we will lead the world into a great period of peace and prosperity. I hope that we will regain the respect and admiration that we lost over the last eight years. I hope that people will hear a new call to service for their country. I hope that we as a people will look on last night as a great night of healing and reach their hands out to one another in hope and love and peace. I hope.
But most of all, right now, I am proud. I am proud I was but a minuscule part of the history we made. I'm proud of everyone that was part of that history with me. I'm proud of everyone who cared enough to go out in vote in record numbers, whether it was for my candidate or not. I am proud of our nation that makes dreams achievable for all people regardless of their ancestry, their color, their religion or their economic status. I am so proud.
An amazing thing was achieved last night. As a father, this has been a great teaching and learning experience. And as a citizen as well. All I ask now is that we don't lose the passion that was ignited. Reach out to those who don't agree with you. Find common ground. Look for compromise. Open your hearts and your minds to new ideas and find value in some things old. Experience the hope and be a part of making the things we hope for a reality. We are at the very beginning of a new road. How we travel it together will determine if it's a good road or a bad road. Let's make it great together.
Posted by Ken at 8:03 AM 0comments
Tuesday, November 04, 2008
Be a Real American. Stand Up and Be Counted.
It's time.If you haven't voted already, get out and do it. Vote for Obama or McCain or Ron Paul or Ralph Nader. Vote for somebody I never heard of. You've heard all the issues by now. If not, take a little time - you have until 9 tonight - look up the issues that are the most important to you whether they be the war, abortion, the economy, healthcare or drug use. Then see where the candidates stand. Then you take a stand.
Everyone says it. But there's a reason everyone says it. If you don't vote, you don't have a right to complain. If you don't vote, you're giving away the freedom that so many have fought and died for. If you don't vote you're putting your future and the future of your children into the hands of strangers. If you don't vote, you abdicate your responsibility as a citizen of the greatet republic in the history of mankind.
VOTE.
It may mean standing in line for awhile. But it means you can look your kids in the eye and say you were part of history. You can say you took part in one of the most important elections ever. That you stood up and were counted on this day that could mean changing the path our entire nation is on.
Take your kids with you. Talk to them while you stand in line about what it means to be a citizen. Ask them what they think about the issues. Find out who they would vote for if they could. Show them what it means to be a responsible citizen. Explain that the only way to prevent losing a right is to exercise it.
Voting doesn't mean being a political junkie. It just means paying attention, thinking and deciding. You don't have to follow polls and listen to all the pundits. You just need to know what's important to you and your family and make a decision. Then pull the lever, check the box, punch the card or tap the screen. Just do it please. For you. For your kids. For those who have sacrificed so much to give you the freedom we all have taken for granted.
VOTE.
please.
Posted by Ken at 10:16 AM 0comments
Saturday, November 01, 2008
Here We Go Again
Eccentric Father is back! Look for new posts detailing the antics of Me, Emmy and our 5 kids. We're looking forward to getting to know you.
Posted by Ken at 4:24 PM 1comments
Calvin - "How come you know so much?"
Dad - "It's all in the book you get when you become a father."
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